defeat
Listening to Bruckner on the radio
wondering why I'm not half mad
over the latest breackup with my
latest girlfriend
wondering I'm not driving the streets
drunk
wondering why I'm not in the bedroom
in the dark
in the grevious dark
pondering
ripped by half-thoughts.
I suppose that at last
like the average man:
I've known too many women
and instead of thinking,
I wonder who's fucking her now?
I think
she's giving some other poor son of a bitch
much trouble right now.
listening to Bruckner on the radio
seems so peaceful.
too many women have gone through.
I am at last alone
without being alone.
I pick up a Grumbacker paint brush
and clean my fingernails with the hard sharp end.
I notice a wall socket.
look, I've won.
(Charles Bukowski)
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